Why We Created Pause2MAP: Reflections from Our Digital Wellness Workshop at the University of San Diego

When Michelle Hirschy and Dr. Nicholas Chan hosted me on their Growing Through It podcast, we kept returning to the same painful truth: parents and educators are worried, and for good reason. They are watching young people navigate a digital world that moves faster than adults can process and often faster than children can regulate. They see late-night scrolling that steals sleep, comparison that chips away at self-worth, group chats that intensify conflict, and platforms designed to keep young people hooked long after their original purpose is gone. They also see something else: restrictions and bans alone are not enough.
 

Again and again, the same dilemma came up. Families can set screen-time limits, ban phones from bedrooms, or delay access to certain apps. Schools can issue guidance, hold assemblies, and repeat safety messages. But those strategies only go so far. What happens when a student cannot stop checking likes? What happens when a child knows the rule but still feels pulled into comparison, anxiety, or conflict? What happens when parents want to help but do not have a language for talking about emotions, manipulation, misinformation, or online friendship drama? In that podcast conversation, the challenge became clear to me: young people do not simply need restrictions. They need skills. And adults do, too.
 

That is exactly why we created PAUSE2MAP.

On Saturday, March 21, at the University of San Diego, Michelle Hirschy, Lucas Jacob, Dr. Susannah Stern, and I had the privilege of bringing that idea to life in a hands-on workshop for La Jolla Country Day School middle school students and their parents. The workshop was designed as an interactive family experience rather than a lecture. Parents and children worked through real social media scenarios together and left with something concrete: a personalized family agreement they could continue using at home. That was important to me from the beginning. I did not want to create another one-time event that raised anxiety without offering a path forward. I wanted families to leave with shared language, practical tools, and a stronger sense of agency.

This workshop also reflected the kind of collaboration I believe digital wellness work requires. I was honored to work closely with Michelle Hirschy, Director of Wellness at La Jolla Country Day School, whose leadership kept us grounded in the emotional realities students and families are facing. I was equally grateful to collaborate with Lucas Jacob, Director of Writing, Communication, and Media Literacy at the school, whose expertise helped shape the educational design of the experience. Together, we built a program that did not talk down to families or scare them into compliance. Instead, we invited them into a process of reflection, discussion, and planning.
 

At the center of the workshop is the PAUSE2MAP framework: Pause, then Manage, Analyze, and Participate. The logic is simple, but powerful. Before a young person scrolls, posts, shares, or reacts, they pause. That pause is not passive. It is the first act of agency. From there, the framework moves into managing emotions and time, analyzing messages and platforms, and participating thoughtfully in digital spaces. What I love about PAUSE2MAP is that it gives families a practical way to slow down and think clearly before acting. It is built on the belief that people do not need more abstract warnings; they need tools they can actually use in everyday life.

The “Manage” part of the workshop begins where families actually live: in emotion, not abstraction. We ask participants to identify the feelings social media can activate, including jealousy, anxiety, exclusion, inadequacy, pride, validation, frustration, loneliness, and fear of missing out. The point is not to shame those feelings, but to recognize them as information. Once a feeling is named, it becomes possible to decide whether to pause, take a break, talk to someone, or respond differently. We also introduce what we call the APS Check, which asks whether a person is using their phone actively, passively, or slipping into a spiral. That language helps families move beyond vague frustration like “you are always on your phone” toward more meaningful conversations about habit, intention, and self-awareness.

The “Analyze” part of PAUSE2MAP focuses on media literacy in action. Families learn to ask questions that slow down automatic trust and emotional reaction: Who made this message? Who is it for? What is included and what is left out? Why does it appear on this platform? How is it affecting me? Those questions matter because social media is not just a place where young people connect with friends. It is also an environment shaped by persuasion, performance, and algorithmic influence. By teaching families to pause and ask these questions, we help them become more thoughtful readers, viewers, and sharers of digital content.

The “Participate” dimension is where reflection becomes action. In the workshop, families explore how to protect privacy, navigate online conflict, repair relationships, and build healthier digital habits together. They do not leave with a generic list of dos and don’ts. They leave with a family agreement built from their own discussion and values. That agreement includes commitments around naming emotions, setting boundaries around passive scrolling, verifying information before sharing it, asking permission before posting about others, and choosing direct communication over vague-posting or reactive escalation. To me, that matters because digital wellness is not just about individual self-control. It is relational. It lives in family culture, school culture, and the everyday ways we communicate with one another.

Another part of this project that means a great deal to me is my collaboration with Dr. Susannah Stern from the University of San Diego founder of Youth and Media Insights Lab. Susannah and I have been working together to evaluate the impact of the workshop, and that research partnership is essential to how I think about this work. I never want PAUSE2MAP to be just a good idea or a well-designed event. I want it to be something we can study, refine, and improve based on evidence. Bringing together wellness, media literacy, and research makes the program stronger and more responsive to what families actually need.

I am also proud that PAUSE2MAP is not just a one-time workshop. It is becoming a growing set of resources that can continue supporting families and schools long after the session ends. Through this work, we have developed brochures and a family workbook, along with posters, card games, and guided activities that make the framework tangible, interactive, and easy to revisit. Good digital wellness education should not disappear when the workshop is over. It should travel home, spark conversations, and remain available when families need it most.

What excites me now is that the Media Education Lab offers three ways to engage with PAUSE2MAP. The first is a single webinar that introduces the framework and creates a common starting point. The second is a full day of professional development tailored for students, educators, or parents. The third is a whole-school consulting and program model that brings together students, educators, administrators, and parents in a shared process. For me, that is the promise of PAUSE2MAP. It does not begin with fear. It begins with honesty, and then it offers a path forward. Yes, social media creates real worries and real difficulties for parents, educators, and young people. But instead of stopping there, PAUSE2MAP offers something better: a shared language, a practical framework, and a collaborative process that helps families move from anxiety to agency.